Tell Me If This Be Love

If you were the clouds
And raindrops your kiss,
I’d drown in your showers
Of liquid-sliver bliss.

If you were the flowers
And dewdrops your tears,
I’d make a bed of petals
To wash away my fears.

If you were the violin
And the notes your voice
I’d listen to your singing
To my heart’s rejoice.

Starlight Memories: Shadow Star, Forever Stay

Without the Darkness there is no light.
Without the Darkness there is no night.
Without the Darkness there is no fear.
Without the Darkness I wouldn't need you here.

So I'll pray for the Darkness every night,
And wait for It during the day.
For without your love It would consume me all,
But It can't with your love standing in the way.

So stand beside me always,
Don't leave me in the dark.
If so, it would claim me easily,
For I already bear it's mark.

It used to make my life its home,
But you drove it away once more.
Now its waiting for another chance,
To take over and even the score.

I won't give it that chance again,
But I need your help to keep it at bay.
So shine bright my Star, with all your love,
And together we can keep it away.

You're my light, always shine.
You're my sun, always rise.
You're my heart, always beat.
You're my victory, and Its defeat.

The Darkness within shan't return,
It will stay deep down, caged by you.
Never again to rear Its ugly head,
Because you, my light of day, always shines through.

So I shall pray that you will stay in my Sky,
Forever and always, shining bright.
My Shadow Star, my love, my life,
The Day in my soul, chasing away the Night.

a mother is ...

A mother is someone
Who makes everything right
To comfort their child
When they're afraid of the night

A mother is the rock
A child really needs
To help them stay strong
And do good deeds

A mother is a shoulder
Their children go to lean on
To cry and complain
Till their troubles are all gone

A mother is a friend
You can tell your secrets to
Cause no matter what you did
They will always love you

A mother is the love
That no one else can give
It takes a special place in your heart
For as long as you shall live

I once heard a saying
That in the eyes of a child
A mother is God
Some might think that's wild

But you see, for me
I actually think it's true
I guess what I'm trying to say is
Well Mom, I Love You

You Cut Me Open

Cut me open
And let me bleed
But to me a favor
And stay away from me

You cut me open
You let me bleed
But you don't even realize
How much it hurts me

I wish you would
Because maybe,
Just maybe,
You will see
That what your doing to me...

Cuts me open
And makes me bleed
But i have no problem
Because i like the way the pain you cause me

Makes me feel...

Tak Tersentuh

Pagi tadi aku membuat segelas kopi instan saja seperti kesukaanmu. Betapa aneh terasa, tanpa suara guyuran air dan senandung dari kamar mandi.
Aku lalu mencoba menonton pesawat televisi seharian seorang diri,
memain-mainkan remote control seperti seorang tolol
lalu merasa sewot sendiri. Tetapi aku tetap tak mampu berhenti
memikirkanmu.

Siapakah kamu, orang asing yang berbaring
di sampingku 3 malam. Siapakah kamu?
Seperti sepasang ular jalang di liang sempit
kita telah saling melilit dan menggigit.
Telah kuhirup aroma khas kulitmu
dan bau harum rambutmu yang menyembur saat kau benahi,
telah membawaku ke tengah padang rumput di lembah
pada suatu pagi hari yang basah seusai reda
hujan musim semi yang pertama.
Setiap senti tubuhmu yang menerbitkan beribu mimpi
telah kutelusuri dengan jemari gemetar, dengan dada berdebar keras,
dan peluh yang menderas,
tetapi kau hanya tertawa serta mengangkat bahu

Ah, seperti kali kecil, kau selalu menolak bercermin.
Seperti warna-warni mentari dalam lukisan impresionis,
kau beralih berganti tanpa letih.
Dan kemarin malam ketika aku menangis
dengan ringan kau berkata tak acuh : “Ini pasti cuma emosi sesaat”
Aduh ! Akupun tahu itu,
hubungan kita tak punya masa depan. Harapan hanya impian.

Kini senja menyusut di jendela dan malam merambat perlahan.
Kurasakan betul
dingin menyelusup masuk lewat celah bawah pintu
mengendap dan menebal di lantai batu.

Untuk apa menyalakan lampu. Alangkah mengerikan
bila dalam terang aku hanya memergoki diri sendiri yang sepi.
Dalam temaram dan kelam aku merasa lebih tenteram dan aman. Seolah-olah
kau masih hadir di sini, diam di dekatku.
Menatap lekat dan lama tanpa berkata,
menemani.

Tak Tersentuh
Di dalam hatiku ada dirimu
Yang tak kan mengerti
Betapa dalam rasa cintaku 'tuk dirimu

reff:
Adakah celah dihatimu
Untuk cintaku yang begitu besar
Meski kau tak menginginkan adanya diriku

Ku tak kan pernah bisa
Memilikimu luluhkan hatimu
Meski telah kuserahkan
Seluruh jiwa ragaku

Di dalam hatiku ada dirimu
Yang tak kan mengerti

Jika memang kau tak tersentuh
'kan ku berikan sisa hidupmu
Untuk mencintaimu
Walau hati saja

Seperti seekor ikan menggelepar-gelepar
di atas pecahan-pecahan es, sukmaku yang telah menerima
kutukan itu akan menggeletar tak sabar menanti tiba
kabar berita darimu. Meski hanya selembar kartu pos,
mungkin dari suatu tempat yang jauh
di mana salju selalu jatuh dan matahari begitu pemalu
dan melulu berteduh.
Aku tidak berani memintamu untuk setia
–itu terlalu mustahil dan menggelikan bagimu, tentu–
hanya saja,
tolong, jangan lupakan saya…

DEATH NOTE

Bottle of pills
The sweet smell of temptation
Anxiety builds
I love, though hate this
The long name fills my ears with a song
Too much morphine
how did this get so wrong?
I've been waiting for the sun to rise
Too many tortured years too long
This is my starry eyed demise...

Don't cry my dear
With your fake God I'll dine
My death note cut in my arm
A perfectly straight line
I don't mean you any harm
Can't you see im just fine?
Don't worry this isn't your life but mine...

I had to be everyones hero
Suffering with my own regret
I put everyone else first
Though my needs far from met...
This was how you raised me
So how can you be so mad?
You raised your hand with glee
And watching me bruised you were glad...

Don't cry my dear
These bruises will go away
For even in hell
This pain will never stay
Im waiting for my death bell
This tempation
I finally will obey...
They say heavens gates are pretty narrow
For your sake I hope that's true
You all shot my heart with decieted arrow
Now there's nothing you can do
You got your last wish
My death the genie granted to all of you...

Baby, i swear i'm fine

I've been waiting for the sun
For quite some time
Stuck in this hole my whole life
But baby I swear im fine
I'll just cut another pretty slice...

I've been bruised up and beaten
More than you'll ever know
I take two steps ahead
Yet still wrongfully defeated

But honey I swear im fine
I'll just take some more pills
Make another gaping line
And watch as the crimson flood spills

Im stuck in the past
But they diagnosed me
Uncurable they say
But baby I swear im fine
My life just won't last
This is the way it has to be
I'll just keep wearing this ecstatic mask...

I can't show any emotion
Better to shut myself down
No preconceived notion
When you can't see me drown
But baby I swear im fine
I just won't make it
Not another round...